Hello, everyone. To my followers near and far, devout and slightly interested, family and vague friends, it is both nice and exciting to talk to you again. As I recently told my therapist from college whom I started seeing again, omg. We have a lot to catch up on! Also as with that therapist-therapee (that’s what you call it right?) relationship, this conversation is largely one sided. I share this blog with you all because I care about your thoughts, want you to hear mine, and–above all else–want to feel connected despite our physical distance. So, unlike with Ms. Therapizer, I welcome feedback and conversation outside of a scheduled weekly time period. In fact, I encourage it!

Frankly, it’s a bit daunting to know where to start. As I’ve recently found out through catching up with long-time friends, I can quickly feel self-conscious about the twists and turns I’ve taken in the past few years, especially when told to people who last knew me as a diligent student-athlete in the quaint Williamstown. So, perhaps to boost my own confidence, I will start from a moment of recognition and work backwards from there. 

While biking in Rwanda (don’t worry, you’ll hear the backstory later), I surely experienced some difficult days. I typically lacked food, often lacked water, and always lacked companionship. Yet, from five days of that remarkable experience, I remember this one realization: 

I could never have predicted where these years since college would take me. Who I would meet, where I would go, how I would feel about myself… I knew none of that. But, I am truly so grateful for (and proud of) the path those steps led me down.

Upon my return to the US, I’ll admit honestly that it has not always been easy to keep that moment of recognition in mind. Between friends with very successful careers and others with wonderful communities (and many with both), there is much to make me doubt. But, if I’m being even more honest, seeing the choices of others makes me no less grateful for or proud of my own. It only makes me fear their judgement of my path… and of me. So, even though the new year is in, the old saying still rings true… comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t I know it! 

But in those rare moments, like the one on my bike in Rwanda, where I’m able to completely let go of that comparison and instead celebrate my own path and joy, I’m finding life truly special. My hope is that all of you reading this can find those moments too.

I’m excited to share with you all some of that joy, as well as other mundane banalities of life too! Rather than craft beautiful transitions between paragraphs and time periods, I choose the cop-out format of a Q and A session instead. Enjoy.

Q: The question everyone first asks… where are you now?

A: I am spending January and February living with five lovely friends (and near many many more) in Boston! Despite my perennial detest of East Coast cities, my priority at this time is to be near friends and family, so I’m doing just that! I am grateful to rent a room in Cambridge, work at a coffeeshop nearby, volunteer with a climate org, and (as of late) live it up at Planet Fitness aka P.F. 

Q: Why did you stop writing the blog that we all stayed up waiting for, checked with anticipation, and hosted launch parties for the release of? (maybe I ad-libbed this question a bit)

A: To be honest, I just felt a bit weird writing about myself once I returned to a “normal” life, albeit across the world. I’m not sure where the line between sharing with caring friends versus self-aggrandizing my life lies, so I conservatively decided I should keep my daily thoughts to myself. But, out of popular demand (honestly, more than a few have asked… not just my dad) and desire for self-reflection, I’ll tentatively bring jaqwithapack back online.

Q: What were some highlights of the past year and a half?

A: Oh, I’m so glad you asked. In no particular order, here goes.

• Living in Wanaka was all around fantastic. I absolutely loved biking and running from my door, seeing the mountains tower around me every day, and living in a community of hilarious, fun, and adventurous companions. 
• INDONESIA BIKE TRIP. This idea started from me searching “cheapest place to fly from NZ that’s not Australia” and ended at a month-long incredible adventure with three other friends across three islands in Indonesia: Lombok, Bali, and Java. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, moving to NZ honestly would’ve been entirely worth it if even just for that trip. I biked bigger hills than I ever thought possible, listened to entire Taylor Swift albums while zooooming downhill, and lived constantly in moisture either from sweat or rain. It was absolutely unforgettable. 
• I was lucky enough to experience a whole new area of the country when I moved to Ohakune, which is a town at the base of Mt. Ruapehu on the North Island. I won’t lie and say it was an easy move (there were many days full of tears–ask Conor) but, I am so glad I lived in a totally different physical and cultural environment. The forest is LUSH, the biking is SWEET, and the people are random in the best way possible.

Q: Wait, so did you also go to Rwanda? How the heck did that happen?

A: Ah yes. That’s a tough one to explain. As I plotted my moves upon coming back to the US, I called my mom in a classic discussion of “what do I do” and “what is important to me.” Although I already booked my ticket back to Seattle and made plans (which my employer soon found out I was bailing on), my mom mentioned that she would actually be working at a school in Rwanda when I arrived in the US. So, naturally, I asked, “can I come?” Likely with reservation and concerted thought, she responded, “Sure!” And that’s how the best plans get made. In all seriousness, it was an incredible opportunity to spend time in a completely different place, see my mom in an environment outside of her comfort zone yet one she completely rocked in, and also really push myself to feel deeply uncomfortable. I spent time volunteering at the school, hiking with my mom, and then biking on my own. Fun would definitely not be the first word I would use to describe my bike trip, but beautiful and psychologically challenging are ones that come to mind. I am very grateful.

Q: The dreaded question… what comes next?

A: As I’ve learned from myself as of late, I never know what will happen until it does. So as much I as legitimately do have plans for the future, I’ll wait to share those until they actually come true. Some hints include: island countries west of the US.

Q: Thank you so much for your valuable insights. Is there anything else you’d like to share?

A: As always, it’s an honor to speak on this platform. Mostly, I would like to say thank you to everyone reading this in a genuine and non-sarcastic (for once) way. If there’s one (of many) things I’ve learned in the past few years, it’s that community is perhaps the most important thing in life. Although I don’t text or call most of you as often as I’d like, I am so grateful to have you as part of my community.

I have a lot of things on my mind and in my brain. As always, there’s no shortage of thought going on in there (although I may wish for that). I’m excited to continue to share a select few of those thoughts (believe me, you couldn’t handle all of them) as life moves along. Just as much, though, I’m excited to hear about your paths too! Spend time outside, eat yummy food especially ice cream, journal, listen to the podcast Diabolical Lies, and laugh with friends. That’s my advice. Take it or leave it!!

also, go hawks